Naming the top 10 cars in my “Fantasy Garage” is as difficult as picking the ten most beautiful women on the planet. Just think about it… How do you choose between Minki van der Westhuizen and Molly Sims from the TV series Las Vegas)? It’s obviously subjective, but I had two criteria. Firstly, you have to “connect” with the car. There is no point in putting some 1935 Bugatti in your garage if it doesn’t make your heart pump 108 octane. Secondly, it must be something that you’ll actually drive, or at least something you’ll want to be chauffeured in. Again, what is the point of putting a car in your garage if you’d never use it? You could’ve bought a fancy piece of furniture instead.
Cars made in Third World countries, or in countries where you can find “Kentucky Fried Dog” on the menu are obvious no-nos. So then, in no particular order…
Range Rover V8 Vogue – Be realistic, if you want to go anywhere on a dirt road or do some proper bundu-bashing, you’ll have to have a SUV in your garage. So why not pick the daddy of all 4x4s? Legend has it a Land Cruiser can drive through a minefield without getting as much as a scratch, but why not pick a SUV that can do that and make you look as distinguished as the Queen of England? And no, I’m not talking about Elton John here…
Rolls Royce Phantom – Apparently you can drive this juggernaut through a black hole and the hole will come off second best, but it’s better to ask Jeeves to ferry you around town in über-style. Now add some ladies, Moët et Chandon, soft background music, and you’ll never want to leave the cosseting rear bench. The Phantom is as big as the QE II and the dinky toys on the highway are compelled to move out of your way.
Koenigsegg CCX – Well, it’s fast, sleek, and bloody fast! The original version almost killed the Stig, until he recommended a spoiler, which fixed the high-speed stability. It’s a big, brutal car which needs real muscle to drive properly, and it scares the hell out of Italian supercars.
Nissan Skyline GT-R R32 – This might not be the best GT-R, but it was the one that rekindled the GT-R flame in the early nineties. At a time when M3s and Sierra Cosworths were dominating touring car races across the world, the GT-R demolished these two legends from the word go. The 2,6-litre straight six engine is a real gem, and matched with Nissan’s intelligent four-wheel drive system, the GT-R R32 gave Ferraris and Porsches of its era massive headaches.
Mercedes CLS63 AMG – It’s the ultimate “pimpmobile” and original “four-door coupé” that every greedy manufacturer is now copying. Most of these manufacturers start off with a coupé and stretch it until it looks like a lumpy boat. Don’t just get an ordinary CLS, get the AMG version with its thumping V8 and gigantic wheels. Only waft around town at 30km/h to give everyone enough time to stare…
Aston Martin V8 Vantage – I know it’s become a footballer’s car, but that doesn’t make it any less stylish. It might also not be as quick as a 911 around the Nürburgring, but you’ll never look like a knob behind the wheel of this machine. And have you heard this thing when it clears its throat? I’m sure my windscreen cracked when a Vantage recently roared past my car. This is will be a future classic – start saving now.
Ferrari 575 Maranello – Let’s face it, you can’t have a Top 10 without a Ferrari. The 599 and 430 might be quicker, but the 575 (and originally the 550) was co-developed by Mr M Schumacher when the German was at the peak of his powers. Who wouldn’t want to drive a front-engined V12 built to suit the master of F1?
Ford Mustang GT (the green Bullitt one) – Any Top 10 won’t be complete without an American musclecar with a throbbing V8. And is there a more appropriate car than the one Steve McQueen drove in the movie Bullitt? Hand me my leather jacket and some brylcream, and after chasing some baddies through the hills of San Fran, I’ll head off into the sunset on Route 66. This personifies the American dream and it will definitely increase your “coolness” by 500 per cent.
McLaren F1 – Forget the Bugatti Veyron. The world struggled to make anything quicker than this for over a decade. No need for 16 intercoolers, four turbochargers, an active wing, or a plush interior; Just a simple design by South Africa’s Gordon Murray.
Nissan Skyline 2,8 GTX – “Old oven plates”. This was the blue-collar Porsche of the 1980s. The 2,8- litre straight six engine was indestructible and made some beautiful noise. Oh, and glorious sound. This is the sound that turns my heart to sludge. The four door version was used in rallying by the Nissan works team, and in the hands of Hannes Grobler, Jannie Habig and Kassie Coetzee, they drifted through rally stages, launching gravel and rocks into the crowds, while still making life difficult for Sarel van der Merwe in his Audi. They can play the GTX’s exhaust note at my funeral…