Aftermarket customisation is big business, but Jasmine asks why every Tom, Dick and Harry feels the need to pass their cars through the big bling-bling machine…
I’m convinced that souped-up cars are the modern equivalent of the fake (pretentious beings, please read “faux”) fur-lined dashboard. Must be the reason why more granddads who should be pushing their grandbabies about, are reinventing their cars instead. Probably brings back “that old feeling”!
I’m not the Golf 5’s biggest fan – in fact I think the car is big and boring and like most fat cats, has earned its popularity not by its own good deeds, but rather by the reputations of its predecessors.
Imagine my surprise when last week, on my way to my wax-and-buff date, I spotted the most beautiful Golf 5 I’ve ever seen. So beautiful, in fact, I nearly dropped my cell phone. In my rear-view mirror it was gorgeous black, lowered by a few centimetres with delicious chrome wheels and black tints… Standing next to Sunny and me, waiting for the lights to change, I came close to swallowing my phone when I realised the guy proudly smoothing his tufts of grey hair, had to be pushing sixty at least. Urghhh… and so much for fantasy!
I understand that the fad is big business and I’m sure there’s a great big socio-political argument to go along with it, but surely there should be an age limit to such activities? Grandpa and co. should realise that some things should just be left to the past or surrendered to the younger folk. Deceiving the public and newly reformed Golf 5 lovers should be an offence.
Allow me to add though, that I have since resumed by cold approach to those chunks of metal and plastic – if your Golf has suddenly developed a mysterious dent, it could be the work of any of my well-trained legion of henchmen.
But shame, those whose cars are somewhat less desirable (owners of souped-up Fiat Palios and those awful box-like Toyota Corollas please take note) all is not lost. Simply remove the horrid decalcomania from the side panels, ditch the cringeworthy orange paintwork you thought was en vogue three years ago and remove the reflective window tints. Think mirror balls suspended from the rear-view mirror and rear louvres and add a cringe or two for good measure and bad memories.
See, bling-bling is not a baaad thing, it just helps if it actually has a hint of good taste, and its even better if the car is decent enough to start off with…
Catch you on the freeway – Jasmine.