Meeting your new neighbours should be a fun and exciting prospect... Not so for Jasmine, whose neighbour and all of his friends have promptly claimed her parking area as their own!

Urban parking is no longer a joke as cities become more congested and more creative parking solutions are more regularly required. But someone who couldn't be bothered to walk a few extra metres and decides instead to park right across my driveway, deserves any creative punishment...

On my increasingly rare ventures into town, I am now fully prepared when it comes to my parking. I am relentless - stalking shoppers and suits alike, to their cars and pouncing on the available bays with practised accuracy.

However, I haven't quite mastered that art when it comes to my own driveway's entrance... For all the parking space available in the street, my (new) neighbours and their guests have developed a fondness for my drive, and so tend to hog it at all times of the day and night. Entering and leaving my house has become a nightmare!

Of course, I have to remain the neighbourly neighbour and avoid kicking up a fuss while dealing with the bother. Instead, I regularly have to lop an entire packet of choice biltong from my shrinking collection over the fence to distract that beast they call a dog, wade through their indigenous garden (read "weeds") and then smile sweetly (and woodenly) while asking the offender to kindly remove his vehicle from outside of my gates.

But I've decided, no more Miss Nice Neighbour... Its amazing how metallic paintwork has taken off over the past years, so much so, that basically every one of the neighbours cronies own a car with the special paintwork.

I think my cat has developed an infuriating new habit of romping on cars parked across my garage's entrance, blocking either my entry or exit. Alternatively, I can save the cat for another neighbourly spat and instruct all my friends to park in the prize jungle outside his house. I don't think they would enjoy it, though I have yet to find an enjoyable protest.

Besides, with just about everybody in a protest mood in the moment, I don't see why I need to miss out on the action, which should also add an interesting new "dynamic" to our fledgling relationship.

And hopefully that will involve them dynamically moving their crusty cars away from my property, leaving more of my imported biltong stash to me! -

Keep it safe, Jasmine