The annual Comrades Marathon is a great display of what is possible when the human body is pushed to its limit, but Jasmine wonders if the same would hold true if entrants were to pit their cars against one another instead.
Watching snippets of the arduous Comrades Marathon yesterday, I was completely touched by the spirit of those dear souls over the gruelling 89 km course. Pushing their bodies to the limits, it brought out the spirit that is Comrades as hundreds sacrificed precious minutes to assist acquaintances and complete strangers alike, across the finish line.
In its 80th year, the ultra-marathon with its display of the might of the human body over the fickle mind, got me thinking, how well would they fair if those “runners” took to the road with their wheels instead?
I can only imagine that the BMW 318i and 320i drivers would force their cars to the front of the start crowd, despite being among the last to arrive at the start line. At the sound of the start gun, they would shoot off the line, hurtling into the distance just as the rest of the field realised it was time to get their own cars into gear…
With that, the race will be off and the souped-up VW Citi Golfs, Toyota Conquests and Honda Civics who too arrived later than most participants would after surviving an all-night party, would, with engines screaming, attempt to power their way through the field.
On the way to the front, they would tear past the few Mercedes-Benz C- and E-Class owners who did not think that participating in such a silly event was a complete waste of time and did not choose to stay home and try out their thrilling new home entertainment theatres instead.
They would also career past the Jettas and Corollas who, with families in tow, have parked off along the road to tuck into their , while taking in some of the scenery and posing for those happy snaps, saying their would be plenty of time to complete course.
And then the hustlers would become stuck behind a troupe of pottering Ford Ikons and Chrysler Neons who had arrived early enough to get a good start, but were now hogging all of the lanes en route to Durban!
And shame, no one would stop to help the poor Fiat Palios and dead Citis stranded along the side of the road…
The BMWs who had initially left the rest of the field in a cloud of dust would be passed by a gang of cruising SLs and 911s. To save face, they would promptly declare the race a complete waste of time before dropping off in search of the nearest pub at which to lament their rotten luck.
So maybe it is best then that the epic race be left to good old foot-power – depending on sometimes unreliable bodies to go the distance rather than pitting (more) reliable vehicles against one another would probably result in less bloodshed. Albeit at the cost of aching limbs, tired feet and exhausting your lifetime supply of sun block! –
