Guys are often called upon to remain completely calm when faced with the challenge of the L-word. But being lost really isn’t that bad, Jasmine counters, if you’re willing to accept a bit of help at times.
I think that guys are given an unfair advantage in all things motoring. There are plenty who would struggle to tell the difference between a battery and an exhaust pipe, but of course, no one would ever be able to tell.
In the same way, there are several hapless members of the male species who definitely know how to start and drive a car, but outside of the home-work-pub circuit, would not be able to drive their way out of a paper bag. But, they’ve been conditioned to be the “kings of the road” and they’ll fulfil that mandate, even if it kills them!
And again, many will, en-route to a dinner party or other adventure, deceptively hide this problem with a number of “I don’t recall that service station being there before” comments, and later a remark such as “All these bloody roads look too alike”. All muttered while grudgingly allowing the backseat driver/s to provide welcome suggestions and feedback on the best ways to rescue the situation.
I have a certain male appendage who suffers from the same condition. Fortunately for him, my brilliant map- and road sign-reading abilities perfectly counter his innate lack of direction, but he’d never admit it.
Instead, he drives about aimlessly, providing impromptu “sight-seeing tours” while frantically trying to locate the required suburb or road. And my suggestions are met with sulky “okays” only after he’s grown tired of seeing the same intersection five times.
Not forgetting, though, that asking anyone for directions is considered akin to fathering a child with your grandmother. The same applies to consulting the map book conveniently located in the glove box, specifically for these crisis times.
Instead, the rather panicked statement is: “I know exactly where that is!”
(And my usual response – with a spot of eye rolling thrown in for effect – is, “I’m sure you do…”)
The situation is very different, though, when he is forced to face a similar problem without onboard help. Then it becomes really straightforward. A quick phone call along the lines of “I need to get to this-or-that place – how do I do that?”
So Jas solves the problem from the other side of town without batting an eyelid. In fact, it’s so simple, I’ve now taken to threatening him to leave me at the side of the road when he next experiences the “paper bag” scenario.
In that way, he can save his manhood and ask me for directions without appearing like a complete idiot… He still seems to think I’m joking, though.
Catch you on the freeway,
Jasmine
