Marketing people… They’re a breed of their own, aren’t they? Further proof of this is that some bright spark in the Ford marketing department has come up with the idea of adding “tattoos” to the Fiesta. As if this successful little car needs such a stupid marketing push…
I don’t really have a problem with tattoos. I especially like them on Angelina Jolie. But there is, of course, the fact that if you have a visible tattoo when you start getting on a bit, you end up looking like an ex-con or a prostitute.
Certainly, if you were to specify your Ford Fiesta with a red dashboard (you can, following another astonishing recent marketing idea), as well as the butterfly tattoo scheme on the outside, you’ll end up with a car that looks like a lady of the night’s handbag… Heaven be on your side when the time comes to trade the car in… But hey, this is an era in which Paris Hilton is regarded as a role model.
And you can’t really expect common sense from marketing and advertising people because the only cars they can get excited about are the Jeep Cherokee and Volkswagen Golf.
I thought this level of stupidity had never been reached before in South African motoring terms. But then I remembered that Ford itself had done this type of thing before, with the cringe-worthy Laser Dayglo Dash of about 15 years or so ago. This saw the dreary Laser painted in searing dayglo colours, and fitted with plastic wheelcovers finished not in only one of these retina-searing hues, but all of them. The car looked like an ice-cream…
Then, a few years later, Toyota apparently came up with the bright idea of painting its Hilux Double Cab bakkies metallic pink. The colour was called – get this – “Casanova”, and you could also have it for your Corolla or Tazz. I haven’t seen a Casanova Hilux, and I’m not sure whether they actually sold any, but I would still like to know how Toyota arrived at the conclusion that there could be a market for pink Hilux bakkies, because of all the people in the Hilux Double Cab target market I’ve spoken to, the common response was something like; “Nee, f*kkit man. Lyk ek vir jou soos ‘n m*ffie. Ek kan mos nie ‘n pienk bakkie ry nie!”
I’ve discovered, thanks to the very clued-up regulars on the CARtoday.com forums, that Datsun had done something like this before too. Remember the Dazzle Datsuns, which allowed owners to personalise their vehicles with an astonishingly varied range of colours and designs? The advertisement of the time had images of some of the variations on offer, each with a surname, to illustrate that you can really make your Datsun your family’s own. So, you had the “De Kock Datsun”, followed by the “Smith Datsun”, and the “Cloete Datsun”, and so forth.
Perhaps some local car distributors would like to revive this idea, but in more contemporary fashion…
So, how about a “Hofmeyer” Chevy Optra, with a light blue paintjob, horns on the bonnet and denim upholstery. Or a “Parreira” Alfa Brera, on which they could throw in a special zero-percent interest deal offered by Benni McCarthy’s and a soccer-ball colour scheme. Or maybe a “De la Rey” Dodge Caliber with a military paint scheme, vinyl top, and the drop-down speakers as standard… The Jaguar X-Type also needs a bit of a push again, so perhaps they should offer a “Manuel” version – pay extra for a cigarette lighter and ashtray, but has a built-in breathalyser. And Proton has real trouble moving the Gen2, so how about a “Habana” edition with a special lightweight wing on the back for improved handling, and free insurance by Outsurance…
The possibilities are endless. And there are enough gullible suckers out there to go for them. Because in the end that is the reason why we’re fed such nonsense as the Tattoo Ford Fiesta – create enough hype, and we’ll buy it… or even ask for it.
Remember those “Have you driven a Ford lately” advertisements of the ‘80s. Apparently some folk arrived at Ford dealerships asking to see this new “Ford Lately”. I’m told that one of the dealers obliged, by adding a “Lately” sticker to the Ford Sapphire… I don’t know how many were sold, but if you’ve got one, then you’re driving a classic marketing case study.
Please, for heaven’s sake, don’t tell Ford…
