As we speak, Russian warlords are playing rock-paper-scissors (with the actual stuff) to see who will get one of only five Dartz Prombron Black Shark’s to be made. This Batmobile-meets-stealth-frigate is the brainchild of Latvian company Dartz known for their oversized SUVs favoured by the more… let’s call them… security conscious Russian “business men”.
It is based on the Mercedes-Benz GL-Class and powered by either a Mercedes V8 or V12. Along with the obvious armour-plating, the Black Shark comes with some interesting capabilities that includes windows that can go opaque, retractable door handles, a shock device to keep intruders at bay, a Kevlar and titanium body, a roof that wards off sniper rounds, a system that scans for explosives in the road, and a communication-jamming system.
There’s also a security system that uses fingerprint and retina scanning – it is called Golden Eye, a reference to the James Bond film. And in case your driver is getting a little dozy behind the wheel, the “Vigiton” security security system will make sure he is alert and vigilant at all times. They’re not clear on how this works, but it’s unlikely to be based around a gentle tap on the shoulder.
This megladon of an SUV also comes with two Vertu “luxury” smartphones that will allow access to apps that will, among other things, book you a private jet and contact your “personal assistants” as a rival “business associate” and his “personal assistants” try in vain to gain access to your Black Shark with their ballistics and explosive-based “office equipment”.